Florida Chick Tries Pilates

After 7 days of getting my butt kicked by Jillian, I woke up this morning and decided I just couldn't take it any more. The truth is, I knew that if I had to do one more plank-jack, pendulum lunge, or squat-thrust I might just give up on this exercise thing altogether...I also knew that if I didn't do anything, I would probably not do anything tomorrow either...or the next day...or the next... so I compromised and found a nice 24 minute pilates workout (I love On-Demand) that I thought would get me through the hate cycle of my love-hate relationship with Jillian, without totally blowing the past 7 days of hard work.


Now, I've never done Pilates. I've done yoga and yogalates (a very trendy combo of yoga poses and pilates strength exercises...or that's what the brochure said anyway) but never plain ole pilates, but I've heard it's what the ballet dancers with amazing legs use so I figured what the heck. Now I'm sure that in general, pilates does amazing things...but I have to admit that after 7 days on Jillian's shred, the leg portion of the workout kind of reminded me of my highschool days when Monica and I would spend hours in legwarmers doing "Buns of Steel" in the living room; the knee squeeze exercise also brought back memories of using Suzanne Sommers' thigh master while watching 90210 - yes, we had a thighmaster.

The ab section was better, and I almost passed out when I had to do the 100 breath pulse thing - apparently a pilates staple...and although I initially wondered if it was really doing anything to improve my six-pack, as I'm sitting here writing, I'm realizing that I have a slight burning sensation in my stomach muscles - apparently the exercises need about 9 hours to brew before the pain really sneaks up on you.

Overall, the 24 minutes of pilates was a nice break from Jillian's constant demand for double jump ropes and walking push-ups, but I suppose that if I'm actually going to shred the size of my rear so that I can wear skinny jeans without looking like an upside-down triangle, I should stick to Jillian and let her continue to let her make me sweat and cry (yesterday Carson walked in and asked if I was OK) ...and if all else fails, I can always wear vertical stripes...

Florida Chick Returns

Contrary to popular belief, I have not crawled under a rock or fallen off the face of the Earth...I've just been lazy, well not exactly lazy, just lazy about writing. However, due to the fact that I have gotten a huge amount of flack for falling off of the New Year's resolution wagon, I've decided to make an effort update all of my followers (all two of you) and bring a little laughter to your life by making fun of mine...I figured a good way to start is by overviewing the last 6 weeks of my life - here goes...

In the past six weeks I've taken three classes through Southeastern University, making me somewhat crazy and completely crabby. I've maintained my well-earned streak of a 4.0 gpa, almost losing it when I had to assess the statistical validity and reliability of the FCAT and write an 8th grade Civics test that was based on state mandates and covered all areas of Bloom's Taxonomy...seriously.

I also took 12 7th and 8th grade girls to cheerleading camp for a week in West Palm Beach - this event completely changed my mind about my ability to parent a teenage girl and Kaitlyn is now under strict instructions to never hit puberty.

The day after arriving home from cheerleading camp, I left for two weeks in Michigan. It was 57 degrees when we landed and I had to buy new sweatshirts for the kids who currently own only school uniforms, ratty t-shirts, and shorts - none of which were all that appropriate for the frigid weather up north. My trip was highlighted by a slumber party with catalogs filled with unmentionably good items, low gas prices, and multiple bottles of pinot grigio shared with my mother-in-law. The downside was that after Kaitlyn's first week at sleepaway camp she was crying...not because she missed me, but because I had to pick her up. She had so much fun that she wanted to move in with her counselor - again, no puberty for her.

I've rounded out my summer with various other new activities. I've tried blue eyeshadow for the first time since seventh grade, and curling mousse which is an effort to embrace the Florida humidity instead of fighting it...both have been good choices, garnering me a "Mrs. V, you look so...relaxed," from one of my students. I suppose this is in direct contrast to the uptight and frustrated Mrs. V. that usually shows up in the classroom?

I've also become a baseball fan (seriously, I'm a VanHekken...you'd think it would've happened sooner) and can now name the starting line-ups for the Marlins, Cubs and Tigers and make completely appropriate baseball statements when I yell at the T.V. - most of which are aimed at Dan Uggla's ridiculous spot as the 5-hitter, or Fredi's insistance at playing Bonifacio instead of Gload...see, don't I sound professional?

In all, I've spent the last 6 weeks doing everything in the world except for writing. But I have good excuses...and I'm all about making excuses whenever possible (for example, my legs are sore, I might not be able to work out with Jillian tomorrow morning) and placing blame on things totally out of my control (like, the Marlins play at 7 every night...its their fault I haven't been writing). Oh well, according to my BFF Laine, they say that it takes 14 days to create a habit...here's to day one...or actually day 206...but who's counting?