Florida Chick Takes a Breather

The crockpot is about as Suzy Homemaker as you can get...and since my life has spiraled crazily out of control, Suzy Homemaker is exactly what I need. In general, we aren't typically "busy-life" people. We don't generally make plans weeks out because "we're so busy"...because we aren't. With the exception of Tuesday nights devoted to The Biggest Loser, we tend to be homebodies - splitting life between school, work, and reality T.V.

That's why this recent week, with very little time to breathe...or sit...or sleep I've had a slight meltdown - not necessarily emotionally - meaning I haven't had to breath heavily into a paper bag or buy any Atavan on the corner (isn't that the anxiety pill?) but I've definitely had a social crash. I've forgotton friend's birthdays, avoided answering the phone because I can't handle another conversation, and stayed away from all social networking sites (AKA Facebook) because I'm too tired to be fun and witty with my status updates. I've started my first ever season as a baseball mom, and it's exhausting....don't get me wrong - it's fun and exhiliarating - just exhausting.

In that past week, I've been to Jacksonville for a cheerleading championship and a weekend trip spent with cool but hormonal 12 year old girls, I've spent 3 nights watching baseball games, one night watching softball practice, two nights answering late-night texts from stressed out eighth graders about research projects, one Saturday not watching baseball games because I had to be at school for an open house, and 7 nights of crashing into bed before 9pm...I'm plain exhausted.

So tonight, I thought ahead and threw some chicken chili into the Crock-Pot before the first of three games this week. I set it on low and voila! we rolled in late to a completely finished and delicious dinner - no stress, no work and one less thing on my list of things to do...who knows, if I keep this up, I might even get to make plans with friends without scheduling weeks out...now, if only I could find some friends to schedule something with...

Florida Chick Rides Again

I am a huge control freak... so much so that I regularly dream about losing my teeth - because I have this dream almost weekly, I looked it up - apparently people who dream about losing their teeth have a fear of losing control - and I dream this A LOT. One of the main ways that this control issue comes out is through driving - I hate to be a passenger unless I'm driving with Chris or my dad, other than that, I like to be in the driver's seat. The first time that Monica and I drove to Florida from Michigan, I refused to let her drive any of the 28 hours and ended up with giant, swollen ankles by the time we arrived. On the way back to Michigan, I let her drive for about half an hour because my contacts were bothering me - but I had a panic attack as we were winding through the mountains around Nashville, so I made her find a hotel for the night.

This weekend I was forced to put myself in the passenger seat on a roadtrip once again. I drove up to Jacksonville for a cheerleading competition, and everything went smoothly...and,much to my passenger's delight, I even went 5 above the speed limit and made it there in 6 hours instead of 7 like the last time we went. I still refused to take one hand off of the wheel at any time or raise the volume on the radio above a whisper, but all in all the trip went well and we all arrived safely.

On the way home, however (after a first place win) I started to notice a cramp in my right leg. We stopped for Starbucks (Starbucks cures everything) but even after a short rest, I had a major charliehorse from driving and sitting all day...fortunately, my friend Laura was with me and agreed to make the drive home. Our choices were basically to stay stuck in Jacksonville because of a bum leg, or to take a deep breath and make the drive home as a passenger - I took a deep breath.

Fortunately, there was no panic attack this time, but I was surprised when Laura looked over and said, "ok, you can let go of the door handle now." I hadn't even realized that I was tightly squeezing the door for about the first half hour of the trip. After that, I tried not to grab for the handle everytime we went through construction...but I couldn't help it whenever we passed by a semi - that was just neccessary - and fortunately, Laura had the grace to pretend she didn't notice. Needless to say, we made it home safely and even in only about 5 & 1/2 hours thanks to her ability (unlike me) to drive above the speed limit. By the end of the trip I was very proud of my ability to take a giant step forward in conquering my control issue...now, if I could only stop with the tooth dreams.

Florida Chick Plays Hooky

Once when I was in college, I called my professor and told him that my grandmother was in the hospital so I wouldn't be in class (now that I think about it, did professors actually take attendance?) I actually used this excuse more than once, I just made sure that I never called the same professor twice. This was back when I was dating Chris and we would skip school at random because we basically had no major responsibilities. We'd dig through the couch cushions in his apartment to find enough money for a greasy breakfast at Bill's Diner followed by a walk through downtown Grand Rapids (before there was anything there), we'd make ramen noodles for dinner, and hang out with friends at Mulligans. To top it all off, we'd grab midnight chili dogs at Yesterdog, and talk about possibly doing the same thing again the next day....ahh, those were the days!

Unfortunately, marriage and jobs and kids have brought out the responsibility in us and we've settled into an honest use of vacation and sick days...ok, with the occasional, much-needed "mental health" day thrown in. But overall, we've been faithful workers and haven't abused the system - it's generally frowned apon to take the day off to visit your dying grandmother in the hospital when she's neither dying nor in the hospital. So today, even though I went through all of the right channels, and left all of the right sub plans, it still felt a little strange to be hanging out in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of week knowing that my students are all working hard in the classroom (actually, they're probably not working that hard).

It's also funny to me that playing hooky is a completely different ballgame once you are an adult with actual adult responsibilitis. For starters, I still had to wake up early to take the kids to school - and because school is where I work, I stopped in to meet with my sub and make sure she didn't have any questions. It's Wednesday, so I stayed for chapel at school and sat with Carson while he sang songs and said the pledge. Monica and I sneaked out before the end of chapel, but ended up stopping in the office and having a conversation with my coworkers about having babies. By the time we finally left, first period was over and several people passed by me and said, "I thought you were going to be gone today."

We finally made it out and had a great breakfast at Einsteins (we went to the crepe place but it's closed - permanently!) followed by spa pedicures in amazing massage chairs. We only heard from the guys a few times, and once from my mom who wondered about picking up my brother. By the time lunch came around, we drove back to school to pick up the kids for an early release (they need cousin bonding time too). Lunch wasn't quite over, so I met Kaitlyn in the lunchroom and proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation with the same Middle School students who I had taken the day off to be away from. Before getting back into the car, I checked my cell, which had only one message from Chris: Estimated Time of Arrival? Sigh...

I guess that's the thing about becoming an adult...playing hooky just isn't the same, instead of greasy spoon breakfasts and late nights out, there's 15 minutes of girl time followed by frantic husband texts wondering where you are and when you'll be home. Playing hooky no longer means sleeping in and snuggling under the covers until lunchtime, it means dropping off the kids and trying to avoid eye-contact with others in order to be able to leave and be back to pick them up three hours later. On the flip-side, however, it also means no wandering around town without any money to buy anything, no having to make ramen noodles for dinner, and no homework to make up for a professor who may or may not have taken attendance. Best of all, it means hanging out with my best girl in the world and laughing hysterically about nothing and everything all at the same time...even texts from our hubbies...who really, just want to spend their day playing hooky with us too.

Florida Chick Plays the Game

My friend Maxine swears by the Grocery Game. It's this website that lists all of the grocery store deals and matches them with various Sunday paper coupons in order to maximize savings. I'm not sure why Maxine is all about the grocery game - she's the only friend I have that has a fountain in her driveway and a bathroom the size of my living room, then again, maybe it's because she clips coupons...food for thought.

I must say that I am not a coupon girl. At all. I have clipped very few coupons in my life, and I don't think I've ever actually used one, I typically find them about a year later shoved in the back of a random kitchen drawer long expired, but I promised Maxine I would try it, so today the Grocery Game was my goal.

I picked up a paper and rifled through the three pounds of ads that were shoved in the middle of the 8 pound paper. The problem that I found was that most of the coupons were for items that I never buy. My favorite was for $1.00 off of 12 cans of Delmonte vegetable products - 12 cans? What the heck am I going to do with 12 cans of Delmonte vegetables? I did find a few that looked promising - toothpaste, dishsoap, cereal - things that I use on a daily basis, and according to the Grocery Game I'm supposed to clip them even if I'm not going to use them right away because if it goes on sale next week, I can still use the coupon then and get an even better deal. So I clipped and filed and took a handful with me on the way to the grocery store - the ones that the Grocery Game listed that would save me more than 60%...

Ok, here's my problem - I mostly buy Publix brand, which when I figure the prices, end up costing me less than the coupon price of name brand labels. Also, I have an awesome dollar store right next to the grocery, and today, even though I was going to use my Crest toothpaste coupon, I found Crest at the dollar store for, well...a dollar. I also found Reynold's Wrap, Dial for men, and Softsoap...each one for a dollar - no coupon required.

Anyway, Maxine swears that the savings add up the more you use The Grocery Game, so even though I only saved $2.00 today, I'll keep clipping, and filing, and checking the website deals. Maybe one of these days I'll find a coupon to get me an even better deal than the Publix brand, and by then, maybe I'll have saved enough to be able to afford a fountain in my driveway too.

Florida Chick Goes Blue

I've actually been faithful about trying new things daily...just not so much about writing about them. I blame it on poor time management skills - yes, my own - but I'm trying to work on it. For the first time in my life I am now a baseball mom. I never thought it would happen - a gymnastics mom, yes. You know, the ones who line up in the gym lobby and look smuggly at each other when their daughter learns a skill that the others haven't gotten - well I planned to be the one with the smug look on my face. Instead, I'm watching my daughter find her passion as a softball player, and my son run the bases with the exact same strange running form his dad had. How did Chris's dream come true and mine become squashed? I'm not sure but somewhere in the midst of my pouting on the cold, steel bleachers, I lost all ability to manage my time well, and now I'm playing blog-catch up for all of my faithful readers - yes, all three of you.

On Wednesday I went to work without eyeliner. This is a big deal! Whenever I don't wear eyeliner people look at me strangely and ask if I need a Tylenol...or a nap. Don't underestimate the power of make-up people, have you seen Jessica Simpson's before and after pictures? She's not all that great - seriously, if I had her make-up artist I could be in US Weekly too. Anyway, I didn't actually intentionally not wear eyeliner - my time-management issue just caught up with me and I completely forgot. I noticed it when I got to school, but unlike usual, no one asked me if I was sick, or tired, or depressed...I'm attributing it to the fact that my bangs are in need of a cut but are currently long enough to hide the affect of eye-makeup - this might be the start of a trend...

On Thursday I baked muffins. This is also a big deal because I don't bake. Ever. I actually used to bake but it was so time consuming that I gave up and decided that ordering a cake from Publix or Coldstone is a much better option than slaving over a mixing bowl. I think I might have been a baker if I had realized earlier in life that you can actually make a cake from a box...but I didn't realize this until well after I was married. My mom always made cake from flour, sugar and eggs (etc.) and frosting from powdered sugar, milk, and butter (or cream cheese if it was a carrot cake, which was made with piles of freshly grated carrots.) This was just too much work for me but by the time I discovered cake mix and frosting by Duncan Hines, I had also discovered pre-made cakes from the grocery store. Anyway, Thursday I broke down and baked muffins for the cheerleading bake sale - I used a mix...and I'm still suspicious about the fact that it comes with "fresh" blueberries in a can...I thought blueberries could either be fresh...or in a can...but both? It's slightly suspicious.

Finally, we come to yesterday...when I got my nails done. Getting my nails done is not new - I go every two weeks, but I did get a new color...and not just any new color - the new color. Navy blue - the color that Jessica Simpson's make-up artist has probably recommended to her, and the color that my middle school girls are wearing (I'm not sure which one of these makes it more trendy). My nails are the one thing I can get away with changing regularly to show my personality without getting fired. I asked about a nose piercing, but was directed to the faculty handbook, which basically says "don't even think about it." I'd also like another tatoo, but I have to think carefully about where it's placed...believe me, middle schoolers have a way of finding these things...so it's nails for now, navy blue and sparkly...but you never know, I might find a place for that tatoo sooner than later...if I can fit it in between baseball games...

Florida Chick Figures it Out

I completely lack the ability to think rationally. I have no logical thought process, and basically I'm incapable of thinking things through from step 1 through step 5 without getting distracted halfway through. I learned this the hard way in highschool algebra. I spent hours working at the kitchen counter with my dad trying to figure out where two trains would meet if they were going in opposite directions at different speeds through different weather conditions...are you kidding? Give me an essay question anyday and I'll throw around some eloquent vocab and variable sentences and make it work, better yet, let me write a story about why the people on the train going south don't really want to meet the train moving in the opposite direction and instead want to take a vacation in Clearwater Beach.

However inept my logic skills, today, I was challenged to use whatever logic (however small) and solve the Rubik's Cube...which would be fine except that I didn't choose this challenge myself, it was placed on my by my daughter. It wouldn't be so bad if were just a basic challenge, but in our family the cube is one of Chris's prized possessions, he's the only person I know who can solve it without peeling off the stickers and putting them back in all the right places. Actually, he was the only person that I knew until Sunday, when my daughter figured it out...my nine year old daughter.

Being competetive in nature, I took on the challenge heart and soul...I spent the entire second half of the Superbowl working on the Cube and woke up yesterday for some extra practice time. I picked it up again when I got home from work, and took it into work this morning to practice before class. I got the yellow side once, but I'm not sure how - it was completely accidental, and by the time I switched it around again, I had forgotten any moves that I had used to make it work. I almost got the red side together, but apparently it took me too long because Kaitlyn became impatient and finished it for me (after rolling her eyes at my incompetence).

As frustrated as I am, I'm sure I'll get it before the week is out...at some point the rational, logical side of my brain just has to kick in and figure it out - of course, if I don't, I can always sit down and write a story about why the red stickers don't all want to hang out together on the same side of the cube...or better yet, just peel them off and stick them back in the right places...

Florida Chick's Big Game

The game hasn't started yet but already I'm getting panicky. For the first time ever, I promised my family I would watch the entire Superbowl - start to finish - and I'm a little nervous. I'm not going to pick up a book, call my sister for a nice 3 hour chitchat, or Facebook...actually, I'll probably Facebook - that would just be too much to ask.

I haven't actually ever sat through an entire Superbowl. I mean I've seen the Superbowl, but I generally end up in the other room watching Lifetime or Hallmark, and running back and forth just to catch the commercials. The few times we've gone to a party I usually end up in the other room with a group of girls talking about American Idol or the upcoming Academy Awards and visiting the gameroom for a possible glimpse of the halftime show - the last one I watched was Janet and Justin's infamous wardrobe malfunction, which I was talking through and missed the whole thing.

Two years ago I was ready to watch the big game. Chris's beloved Bears had made it to the Superbowl and they were down here in Miami...and so was Chris. The kids and I hadn't moved yet, but we bought plane tickets to come down for Superbowl weekend and watch the game together. It was such a big deal for Chris that the kids packed all of their Bears gear and even Chris's favorite orange and blue Bears blanket (this was obviously before you had to pay extra to take a suitcase on a plane). We drove to my in-laws so they could take us to the airport at 5:30 in the morning...just to wake up and find out that everything in Michigan was shut down because of a blizzard...including the airport. We ended up being snowed in at my in-laws for two days before finally getting on a plane to Miami. It was -11 degrees as we headed to the airport and the Bears were already two-day losers...we missed the game, but the kids were just glad to see their daddy.

This year the kids have once again gotten the Superbowl bug. They've asked to eat "giant tacos" and buy Steelers jerseys - we agreed to the tacos. They want to cheer on the teams as a family, and I've decided that it's about time I actually watch the game. So I'm cramming to finish my book before kick-off, and turning off the ringer on my phone (Monica, I'll have it on vibrate and secretly text you when I can), but if I can swing it, I'll be on Facebook - checking status updates, and posting pictures...but keeping an eye on the game...who knows, there might be another wardrobe malfuntion - and this time I'm not going to miss it.