Florida Chick Goes Sledding

I've never actually been sledding. I once went cross-country skiing - actually, I went twice. My parents had a moment in the late 80's when they thought cross-country skiing might be the next great family activity...and then they realized that no one in our family actually likes being out in the snow. I clearly remember renting skis at Reliable Sport and heading out to some trails on the north side of Holland. I also remember my dad rescuing me from a precarious situation in which I went down a very small hill, and my ski (still attached to my foot) ended up in the low hanging branch of a pine tree...not the intended outcome of the day.

I think that part of the reason I never went sledding was that it required wearing snowpants...and come on, let's admit it, snowpants are just not that attractive. Aside from the snowpants, I just don't like the cold, or the general outdoorsiness that sledding requires...this is why my kids, native Michiganders, both have memories of their first sledding trip with no, not their parents, but Mr. Brugger...a family friend who, let's face it, probably felt sorry for them for having parents that wouldn't take them out in the snow.

It's odd that my first sledding experience would happen down Fort Lauderdale on an 80 degree day...but it did. I decided to try something new and hop on a toboggan during our school's snow day. Snow day is the highlight of our students' year. A truck pulls up and deposits two tons of snow on the playground hill and the kids get to go sledding and drink hot chocolate and eat s'mores all morning long... it's the only place where I've ever seen snowcones as the after-sledding snack of choice. Anyway, by the time it was my student's turn, the snow was half mush, half ice and my students were face planting in the mud at the bottom of the.hill..which of course was the highlight. I stepped out of my comfort zone and jumped on a toboggan. I took my turn slipping and sliding down the hill - more afraid of getting dirty in the mud hole at that bottom than anything - but I made it, safe and sound. I don't think it was quite VanRaalte Hill, but I didn't have to wear snowpants and that was a huge bonus...plus, if you check the photo closely, you'll notice that I'm wearing flip flops - and that makes sledding in Florida all worth it.

Florida Chick Tumbles

Despite all of my ranting about wanting to lose 5 lbs, I secretly think I'm in pretty good shape (except for the running thing) and could possibly hold my own in a steel cage match. I currently have all of my middle school students thinking that I could beat them flat out in an arm wrestling competition, and I keep this little belief going by never arm wrestling them...as long as they think I can beat them I'm good...the minute I actually try and fail it's all downhill.

The thing about getting older is that not only do our bodies shift and change but our minds seem to become delusional about their actual ability...which may be why I decided that tonight, after 10 years (I haven't tried tumbling since before I was pregnant with Kaitlyn), I was going to tumble again. (And which may be why I think I'm up for a steel cage match.) Maybe it's not necessarily age that messes up women's bodies...maybe it's pregnancy. As I stretched myself out tonight to get ready for my big debut, I realized that in the past 10 years since trying any gymnastics, my body has stretched and bent in ways and places that stretching and bending really shouldn't occur. My ab wall has been pushed apart to give my babies room to stretch while they were hanging out in there, and somehow, my rear has attached itself further down my legs and higher up my back so that even though I didn't carry a baby back there I probably could have...and labor and delivery...c'mon, you don't even want to go there.

So here I am, 16 years and two kids older than my competition days, ready to pretend I'm 16 again...and actually, it didn't turn out all that badly. I completed my task...one round-off, one back-handspring, and one back tuck, a little lower and slower than I did it 10 years ago, but not bad. I suppose the worst part about it was that my wrists are still burning and my back won't quite let me stand up straight. I did see stars, but only for a minute. My shins are slightly throbbing and I think I might have pulled a hamstring... but even though I was out of breath after only one tumbling pass, I didn't pass out and I didn't break anything so I feel pretty good...I feel refreshed, young, ready to take on the world...and ready for that steel cage match- bring it on - actually, bring it on tomorrow...I'm a little too sore tonight, I'm popping a Tylenol P.M. and heading to bed...and praying that I can get out of bed tomorrow without a wheelchair.

Florida Chick's Crepe Day

The last time I tried crepes I was in Paris. There is just something about eating a pancake for dinner and dessert just because that's the thing to do when you're in France, like eating a Philly Cheese Steak in Philly or Key Lime Pie in the keys...so I was a little skeptical about going to the little crepe place in the strip mall next to Einstein's bagel in Ft. Lauderdale...but my other choice was Jamba Juice, and since I tried that already this week, I figured I'd give it a go.

I think it was the ice cream topping, but I have to say that crepes in Ft. Lauderdale are almost as good as those in Paris. Honestly, what's not to love about a nutella and cinnamon wrapped in a thin pancake and topped with ice cream - I guess that's what makes them different from Parisian crepes, the French would never be so unsophisticated as to top a crepe with plain old ice cream - maybe gelato - but never ice cream.

Not only was the crepe good, but I had great company. I got to sit with one of my favorite girls and talk about life while licking melty nutella off of a giant plate. I have to admit, though, it wasn't quite Paris, instead of the Eiffel Tower or Sacre Coeur in the backdrop, there was the stoplight at Broward and Federal where people honked their car horns and cursed out the driver in front of them...and instead of people watching on the glamorous Champs-Elysees, we watched the homeless man make his way across the street with a wobbly shopping cart...of course, not being in Paris isn't necessarily a terrible thing...let's face it - it is January, and even though it was noisy, and kind of smelly...we did get to sit outside in our cafe chairs, enjoying the sunshine, eating our yummy crepes in 75 degree weather...and that's something Paris just can't touch.

Florida Chick Hits the Beach

I tried the Atkins diet once and it lasted for about 3 hours, I just honestly believe that carbs are my friend. I also tried Weight Watchers, but I got mad when they told me I had to lose 13 lbs. 13 lbs? Are they crazy? I haven't been 13 lbs under this weight since the eighth grade. And really, I tried to enjoy spritzing a flour tortilla with "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray and Sweet 'n Low - but it's just not the same as a deep-fried elephant ear.

With these diet mishaps behind me, I decided to try my hand at the South Beach Diet today. Actually, I only picked up a South Beach Diet pre-packaged meal because it was on sale...but that's beside the point. I sat down at lunch today with my students and opened the cardboard box with two whole-wheat tortillas, low-fat mayo, sliced turkey, bacon bits and cheese. I have to admit - it was actually really good...not quite the bacon and cheese of the Atkins, but probably enough points to make me fail the weigh-in at Weight Watchers...and that's where I realized my problem. See, if you are a full fledged South Beach diet follower, (and believe me, if you've ever been to South Beach you understand that following a diet should be completely required if you're going to show up in a swimsuit) the mayo and cheese and bacon bits are just a part of this hip low-carb/good-protein lifestyle. But if you're just a normal "runs a mile every once in a while Florida Chick" then the mayo and cheese and bacon bits have now become 18 grams of fat that probably should have been traded in for an salad with viniagrette and an apple...

Not to mention that I made a huge pot of pasta for dinner which totally erased any hip, low-carb progress that was made by using whole-wheat tortillas...that and the 1/2 bag of lime tostitos, oh well, I have another South Beach meal in the fridge, and tomorrow is another day, you never know, I might go no-carb and just start out with a cup of black coffee and a hard-boiled egg...maybe.

Florida Chick Runs

I was inspired today as I watched hundreds of people cross the finish line of the Miami marathon this morning. Apparently it went from Coconut Grove to South Beach through the Art District and back...which if you're not familiar...is a stinkin long way. It reminded me that the last time I had been running was about 6 months ago in the Coast Guard 1 mile fun run...I had hoped to run in the 5K but, well...I just didn't have the energy...or ability - but this year is different, this is the year I become a runner.

I actually used to be a pretty good runner. I could run 100 meters faster than most other kids in my highschool, I could even jump over hurdles while doing it - but let me tell you, the minute I hit 105 meters, it was like I hit a wall - nevermind running a mile, that just wasn't going to happen. I actually went out for Cross Country my junior year...but I quit after the first practice, I've just never had the endurance to run long distance...which, to me, is anything over 100 meters.

Today though, I was determined. I grabbed my running gear (it took me a while to find the one pair of athletic socks that I own...actually they are the only pair of socks that I own.) And I decided to run the 1.1 miles to my parent's house. I walked the first .1 mile because I figured my goal was 1 mile - why make it any harder than it had to be - and then began to run. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.

After the first block my calves began to burn...I think they were slightly in shock. After the second block I began to notice a slight pain in my chest...but it was on the right side not the left so I figured I probably wasn't going to keel over from a heart attack. After the third block my teeth began to hurt - I'm not sure how this happens, but apparently it's just part of my entire body protesting about getting too much exercise. Finally, I made it halfway, which was a stoplight. I'm embarrassed to admit that I did the one thing I always make fun of people doing when they run...I ran in place until the light changed. It wasn't so much that I wanted to keep my heart rate up, more that I knew if I stopped, I would never start again. The second half of the run was easier...I think everything just became numb and my adrenaline took over. I was slightly embarrassed when I passed a real-life runner...he looked like he had just continued on his way from the Miami marathon. He was dressed in those fancy running clothes and wore a sweatband and everything. I tried to say hi but I was too out of breath.

Anyway, I am pleased to say that I made it the entire way without stopping...or puking. I'm a little sore (yes, already) but I'm definitely proud of myself - and the best part, I figure if I add in the running-in-place at the stoplight, I actually ran a full 1.1 miles...I might be a runner after all.

Florida Chick Gets Juiced

Down here in Sofla (that's South Florida to all of you northerners) Jamba Juice is to smoothies what Starbucks is to coffee. It hasn't quite made it onto every street corner in America, but there is at least one in each town...so after a long and arduous journey through the winding corridors of IKEA, I thought I'd treat myself to something new and made my very first visit to Jamba Juice.

I was excited to find out that all of Jamba Juice's ingredients are 100% natural and that they pride themselves on being a part of a healthy lifestyle. I don't neccessarily share their desire for a healthy lifestyle (as made apparent by my stop for fried dumplings afterward) however, I just get excited when a restaurant advertises their all natural ingredients...it makes paying $5.00 for a drink just a little bit easier to swallow.

Anyway, I chose the Mango-a-go-go with a free immunity boost. I'm not exactly sure what the immunity boost is, but it was free and I figure anything to help kick this cold would be helpful. I have to say, the smoothie was delicious, it was a huge drink (which, being a cheapskate I totally appreciated) and I even watched as they added fresh mango slices...yum.

It wasn't until I got home that I realized my Jamba Juice mistake. I opened my IKEA box and with only a no-word booklet, was expected to build a beautiful Swedish dresser out of 532 pieces of particle board and 84 screws. It was then that I realized I probably should have taken the free energy boost in my smoothie instead of the immunity boost...to heck with the cold, I could've just taken another Alka Seltzer... but it would take extra energy to put this baby together. Oh well, I'll know better next time...although I did have my eye on the wheatgrass shot for next time - energy and immunity in one...hmmm

Florida Chick Gets Sick

You know it's bad when I'm wearing my glasses. I avoid wearing glasses like the plague, I think I'm slightly scarred from the large coke bottles that I was forced to wear when I was in 5th and 6th grade...don't believe me? There's a photo somewhere on my facebook page showing of the lovely frames that honestly, no loving parent should have ever let their child wear.

Anyway, I'm home sick - and sick enough that I'm still wearing my glasses at 4pm. My head is pounding, my nose is stuffy, and everytime I cough I feel like there are needles in my throat -it's not pretty. It's been a few days now that I've been under the weather so I decided to try a new remedy. I'm not really one for cold meds...the kid's ones are pretty much sugar and red dye #3, and the adult ones make me sleepy, so this time I went for something new, I decided on Alka Seltzer Plus...with orange.

I don't think I've had an Alka Seltzer since I was 11 and ate too much Swiss steak at my grandparents' Sunday dinner. I think it probably made me so sick that I've pretty much stayed away from it for the last 21 years. But, seeing it at the drugstore, with it's bright Vitamin C filled orange on the front gave me the guts to try it one more time. It's worked pretty well the last few days , but today I decided to give it a little kick...I added it to a glass of orange Gatorade.

I have to say, orange Alka Seltzer and orange Gatorade don't make the best combination. It's kind of like that nasty, sugary orange stuff you have to drink when you're pregnant to check you're sugar levels - except with bubbles...and not as good. I'm not sure which is worse, being home sick with the aches and sneezes...or having to take red dye #3 or fizzy orange tablets in order to feel better...whatever happened to good ol' chicken soup? To top it all off, my eyes hurt and I can't even put my contacts in...at least I don't have to wear the coke bottles anymore...

Florida Chick Watches History

There were quite a few new things today (not to mention the lobster last weekend...but that's another story)...I tried a caramel truffle (yum!) and I tried orange Alka Seltzer Plus (ewww!). But the most significant by far was watching America's first African American president being sworn into office. I watched it with my daughter - who ate her lunch nonchalantly while Obama talked about standing firm and having hope. I assumed she was unfazed by the whole production until later when she looked at me and said, "On the day that I turn 35 I'm going to run for president."

I think that's the excitement about today - regardless of who we each voted for, my daughter realizes that we are truly blessed to have the right to vote, and that despite our country's ups and downs, stock crashes, gas prices, and economic trials she still wants to be a part of it. It's not that we look at one man and hope he can change the country, it's that we look at ourselves and get excited to jump in and be a part... that, and the fact that the presidency isn't just for the elite few anymore...it's for all of us - even nine year old girls.

Florida Chick Makes a List

I usually hate forwards and chain letters (I know, that's what they all say) but I thought I'd give it a shot, here is my 20 random facts chain letter...pass it on or bad luck will come to you in 42 days =).

1. I majored in English, journalism, pre-med, and education before graduating with a degree in Family Life Education at the age of 29, I also had both of my kids at my college graduation and have attended 3 different colleges...no, 4 if you include Muskegon Community College...oh, and 1/2 a semester at Hope - 5.

2. I was fourteen when I started dating Chris. We broke up a lot but always knew we'd get married. He asked me to marry him once when I was in highschool...I said no.

3. I am insanely addicted to recycling. I can tell you which evelopes can and cannot be recycled and which numbers of plastic can be recycled in Hollywood and in Fort Lauderdale...it's different for each city. I often rummage through the trash to find recyclables that have been thrown away by my husband, and there have been times when a trashed cereal box has caused hours of contention between us.

4. If I could only have one food for the rest of my life I would choose lime Tostitos and Paul Newman's mango salsa...or possibly Anthony's pizza...or Whole Food's chicken wings.

5. I am deathly afraid of walking barefoot in the grass. I have often caused myself to hyperventilate just by thinking about walking across the yard without shoes.

6. I love Jane Austen and William Shakespeare...but if I really had to choose, I would probably read something by Sophie Kinsella just to pass the time.

7. I almost exclusively drink grape G2 Gatorade and coffee with huge amounts of cream. I could pretty much make it through life with little else to drink.

8. I get huge amounts of pleasure cleaning the rabbit hutch and scooping its litter twice a day...but I hate to clean the bathrooms.

9. I love to drive. I get nervous when I'm riding in a car with anyone else but my husband driving...can you say "control issues?"

10. My only real fear is failure. If I'm going to do something I like to be the best...it's the only reason I've never taking a spinning class - I know for sure I wouldn't make it for an entire hour.

11. I've read every book of the Bible except for Revelations, which I refuse to read... I figure when the end is here I'll know.

12. I've never willingly bought a piece of clothing for full-price. Upon entering a store, I wil head directly to the clearance section without even looking at the main displays, and I will buy clothes that I'll never wear if they are on clearance for three dollars.

13. I have known since the 7th grade that I would adopt a daughter from China one day.

14. I think that Chris is quite possibly the wisest person I have ever met and I trust his judgment on everything completely...I sometimes think he should have been a counselor.

15. My sister has been my best friend since we were young. Living away from her is possibly the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my entire life.

16. I am an excellent speller.

17. I used to be a flight attendant and loved to fly...now, everytime I get ready to board a plane I wonder if the people on the flight are the people I'm going to spend my last moments with.

18. I love to dance...really, really love it. In highschool I had aspirations to one day be a Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleader - but I didn't really want to move to Texas...and, I've never had the hips to be able to wear those little shorts...sigh.

19. I don't watch any T.V. shows regularly except for The Biggest Loser, which I cry through for two straight hours every Tuesday night, and Rock of Love, which I'm completely embarrassed to admit, but which always makes me feel better about never having married a Rock Star.

20. I've had 9 jobs in my adult life...Gym club owner, Flight attendant, Accounts payable girl, Stay at Home Mom, Pampered Chef consultant, Body Shop consultant, Realtor, Parent Educator, and Teacher - where I finally found my calling...the only thing I'd like to add to the list is Writer - other than that, I think I'm ready to settle down.

Florida Chick Lashes Out

I'm convinced that mascara companies are quite possibly the biggest examples of false advertising that I've ever seen. To date, I've never had a good experience with mascara. I always have high hopes that when I open a new tube, it's going to transform my lashes into the same lashes that the model on the commercial has...they will be lush and long and feathery- instead, they always look exactly the same as they did before applyting the mascara except possibly a little darker and clumpier.

Recently, there have been so many new styles of mascara that I decided to give it another try, so this morning Kaitlyn and I headed to Walgreens to pick some out. Choosing a tube was much more daunting than I thought it would be. Have you been in the mascara aisle recently? There is volumizing mascara, lengthening mascara, and thickening mascara. Mascara with a silicon brush, mascara with silicon in it, and mascara with teflon. There is stilleto mascara (does it make you look taller?), and double-wanded mascara with sparkles...basically, it's ridiculous and impossible to choose a tube.

Finally, though, Kaitlyn and I agreed on the best possible choice - Maybelline XXL lash extension mascara. It claimed that my lashes would be 80% longer and have the appearance of false eyelashes because of the amazing dual brush technology. As soon as I got to the car I ripped open the package and brushed it on - first the conditioning tube with was like brushing a waxy white paste on my lashes, and second the mascara, which, you guessed it...left my eyelashes looking exactly the same as they did before I applied the makeup, except a little darker...and clumpier...sigh.

Fortunately Walgreens has a good return policy and they accepted my return with no questions asked. Kaitlyn tried to convince me to buy a tube of the mascara that creates tubes on your eyelashes, but by then I was too exhausted from looking up and down the aisles so I ended up heading home with the $8.99 in my pocket instead. I think that after years of trying to find the next best thing, I might just go back to everyone's favorite...the simple pink tube with green top that got me through highschool...Great Lash - and to top it off, it's only $4.99. Quite possibly I could end up with great lashes and $4.00 extra in my pocket - now that's a good deal!

Florida Chick Orders Breakfast

I used to coach high school gymnastics. Every Saturday we would leave at 6:30am for an invitational...this was well before Starbucks dominated every corner of suburban America so it became a tradition that the other coaches and I would take turn picking up McDonald's breakfast for each other to eat on the way. There was a lot of superstition involved in the whole process - we had to order a sausage mcmuffin with egg and a cinnamon roll...we would then open the cinnamon rolls to see which had the most frosting - the head coach would get the one with the most, I would get the one with the least. I'm not sure exactly how I didn't feel shafted about this whole process...I guess superstition is superstition. And anyway, just in case the frosting thing didn't work as a good luck charm, it should probably be noted that we were also wearing our lucky green underwear.

It's been a while since I've been back to McDonald's for breakfast. I pick it up occasionally for the kids when we're running low on Apple Jacks or pancake mix - but rarely do I grab anything but coffee. So I decided (since we were running low on Apple Jacks and pancake mix) to pick up McDonald's for breakfast today - and to try something new.

The breakfast menu is a little odd for me. I love pancakes but am skeptical about hotcakes made en mass, I'm also concerned about the breakfast chicken. I have specific rules about food - number 1: chicken cannot under any circumstances be eaten before 12 noon, it's just not right. I decided on the sausage bisquit (is that how you spell it??) Anyway, it was fine. I rummaged through my desk drawers at work looking for a ketchup packet to cut the dry-flour taste but only found mayo and relish, (and 3 tubes of lipstick and an empty breathsavers wrapper from the day I kept the food journal) which were obviously no help.

In general I think I'll stick to McDonald's coffee, and maybe a barely-frosted cinnamon roll if I become desperate. Oh, and by the way, just in case you're wondering...my food rule #2: Never eat food in the bathroom...especially if it's chicken before 12 noon.

Florida Chick Goes Clubbing

My dad bought a boat when I was in highschool. We kept it docked at Macatawa Bay Yacht Club and for a year or two we felt a little bit like a part of the in-crowd. I'd love to write about the time that my best friend and I got caught skinny dipping in the yacht club pool...but my mom is reading this and I really don't want her to know about it...

Anyway, as great as it was to be a part of the yacht club, I'm going to come right out and say that MBYC has nothing on the Fort Lauderdale Yacht Club. First of all, I think that the annual fee for Fort Lauderdale is just about equal to my annual salary (Tami? M.B? - you know it's true.) And second, today I parked next to a Rolls Royce - you just don't see that in Holland, Michigan.

But today I headed out with one of my favorite students to lunch at the club. The club is not a completely new experience, I've actually been there before to swim, (let's just say, I know people) and because it's in the same neighborhood as school, they've even been so gracious as to host a few class parties - but lunching at the club was a totally new experience. We walked through the different dining rooms to our booth (both of us giggling like schoolgirls...even though only one of us was) and had a seat with a few other elderly couples in Polo Shirts and Lily Pulitzer pantsuits. (The younger set was sitting outside by the pool cooling down in their tennis whites after what was apparently a rousing group lesson). It was only slightly awkward when the waitress asked me for my member number and I had to explain that I wasn't actually a member, but instead I was being treated to lunch by the 13 year-old sitting across from me. Other than that, it was a great time and my only regret was that I left behind the left-overs that I was going to take home for dinner tonight (not tacky at all). The best part? Possibly the chocolate-chocolate chip cookies...and the fact that we didn't scratch the paint on the Rolls on our way out.

Florida Chick Makes Stuffing

I didn't realize you could actually make stuffing just to make it. I mean, I know that you can make cranberry chutney Thanksgiving stuffing as a turkey sidedish and I've seen recipes that call for a cup of stuffing here or there, but tonight, when I came home from work without a dinner plan, I rifled through cupboards until I came across an unopened box that was left over from a past Thanksgiving (I'm hoping this past one) and decided to make some stuffing to to go along with the burgers that I pulled out of the freezer.

I suppose I was most concerned when I read the directions and they said to add 1&1/2 cups of water and a quarter cup of spread. Spread? I don't think that's an actual food. I'm assuming they meant some sort of butter/margarine spread but since I didn't have either, I used a tablespoon of "I can't believe it's not butter." I did appreciate the fact that all I had to do was boil and fluff - but it made me wonder, what's the big deal with all of the Thanksgiving stuffing horror stories.

I don't actually do Thanksgiving dinner. I don't particularly care for Turkey, in fact, I suggest ordering out for Chinese EVERY YEAR. No one ever takes me up on the offer and I end up having to make some sort of potato dish. Anyway, with burgers made and stuffing served we dug in...I must say, it was kind of rubbery and chewy with no cranberries or celery to hide the gummy texture, I suppose it was better than a plain hamburger patty, but I definitely understand why none of the gourmet magazines use Stove Top as their main ingredient...and either way, I'm still not convinced that next Thanksgiving we shouldn't just order out for Chinese...

Florida Chick Recaps

I have to admit that today I took a hit and didn't really try anything new...well, I wore a new shirt (the cute pink and green argyle one in the photo...I love a good sale!) but I'm not sure that that counts. Instead, I thought that instead of feeling guilty for missing a day (seriously, if this was a diet I would have had a breakdown for missing a day and stuffed my face with birthday cake in an effort to make me feel better) I thought I'd just give a few updates from the last 12 days, here are the top 5:

#1 - Grilling - I'd like to say that since learning how to use the grill I have become the family grillmaster - but unfortunately, Chris seems to think I'm not up to the challenge and has since asked me to take responsibility only for the side dishes, apparently he doesn't want to risk having to use steak sauce because he has to, only because he wants to.

#2 - No-sewing - Ok, I had big dreams for the fusable webbing. In my mind I was tailoring pants, making cute designer pillows for my couch, and turning previously used sheets into curtains, at the very least, I was hoping that by today I'd be able to report that the no-sew skirt was such a success that I've been wearing it day after day. Unfortunately I found out the hard way that you are supposed to wait a certain amount of time before throwing the fusable webbing in the wash...a fact I wasn't aware of until I threw it in the wash and the entire front and back panels of the skirt came off...I'd wear it, but then I'd possibly risk being picked up for indecent exposure...I'm sad to say - the skirt made it's debut and then was laid to rest by being turned into dusting rags...


#3 - The non-Mac computer - the computer is still sitting wobbily on a very unattractive baker's rack in the living room, but not for long - no, not because we've got a new desk (although I have had some very nice offers - this blog is almost better than Craigslist) but because we've discovered that no matter what we do...new software, hours of tech support, friends with computer knowledge on par with Bill Gates - the computer just does not work. It has some virus or other which causes it not to work and it's pretty much a lost cause...hmmm, should've waited it out for a Mac.

#4 - The organic cat food - All I can say is that as of today I think Tommy has lost three pounds because he refuses to eat it. I mixed it with his cat chow and he picked the cat chow pieces out and left the rest. He still hasn't eaten but Chris insists he'll eat it when he's good and ready (he obviously found out how much it cost) I guess I never knew Tommy enjoyed preservatives and red dye #3 so much.

#5 Finally, Starbucks - I returned to Starbucks yesterday and instead of getting a skinny vanilla latte, I ordered a white chocolate mocha...I was so depressed about the chai latte earlier in the week that I broke down and went for full fat. What I have discovered, though, is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. While at Starbucks, Kaitlyn ordered a mango orange smoothie...and it was incredible! So, I decided that even though everything hasn't turned out great, maybe trying new things isn't all that bad...maybe I just need to keep trying new things until I find the one that's right for me - of course then that new thing would become an old thing and I'd have to start the process all over again...

Florida Chick Goes Shopping

I wanted to buy a pair of skinny jeans today...it's taken me a year and a half to get up the courage to finally want to try a pair and now I think I might have taken too long. I headed to Old Navy but there were no skinny jeans to be found - just flirt and diva jeans. I'm guessing that I'm once again on the backside of the fashion trend and just when I get into the game, what I thought was cool is already last year's thing.

I did end up with a pair of new jeans (apparently the flirt jeans are best for my figure) but it gave me a sneaking suspicion that the retail industry is doing its part to jump-start the economy by lowering women's clothing sizes - I ended up with a pair of size 4 jeans. Now, this is honestly not an attempt to gain pathetic comments about the size of my clothing, I promise, I'm not looking for a cheery comment about my figure to boost my confidence. I actually have a pretty good body image, but I'm realistic - there is no way I'm a size 4. I never have been, I actually own a pair of Old Navy jeans from last year and not even those are a size 4.

I weigh a few lbs. less than I did in highschool but with about 90% less muscle mass, so I'm a little skeptical of these sliding jeans sizes since in my senior pictures I wore a very cool pair of tight-rolled and high-waisted, frosted size 7/8 jeans. Even at my smallest, which was in 1996 after a pretty bad bout with the Freshman 15 and a subsequent workout binge enforced by my mother, I fit nicely into a size 6 - I've hovered around there ever since.

But maybe this is exactly what the economy needs. I mean, what better way to inspire women to shop than by boosting their self esteem through a pair of jeans. I don't know about anyone else but Old Navy certainly got my attention. I mean, really...I know I'm not a size 4 but if they want to tell me that I am and con me into buying a new pair of jeans because of it - well, I suppose that that's an economic stimulus package I can live with.

Florida Chick Unplugged

I've been watching football all day, and Disney, and football...not necessarily in that order. See, today I decided that I would make the effort to stay away from all electronics...once I realized that that would include the coffeepot, however, I decided to lower my expectations and just stay away from the T.V. and the computer. Of course, my decision to turn off the T.V. didn't go over well with my family...so it turned out that instead of not having the televieion on, I had it tuned to channels that I wasn't interested in...no Lifetime, no Hallmark, no Food Network... it was incredibly difficult to drink my coffee this morning without watching Giada make another great Italian dessert with Hazelnut and Nutella.

Turning off the computer wasn't so bad, I mean, after my first initial obsessive moments when I was overwhelmed by the desire to check my facebook account (I hate to have to wait to check everyone's status updates) I was fine. I did have to break my technology fast for one moment this afternoon after I had a really nice girl come to my door and try to sell me a fabulous but expensive cleaner. She was very sweet and I invited her in to try it out on my floors and my shower doors, then I gave her a Gatorade and sent her on her way...

I don't know how much each of you know about South Florida, but apparently it's not smart to invite strangers into your house. Chris freaked out and mentioned it to our neighbors who mentioned the strange van that had been driving around our neighborhood and who the police had been checking up on to make sure they weren't casing the neighborhood. Anyway, I ended up on the internet checking the validity of the cleaning company...and then when I didn't find it - looking up the number for the police station to let them know that there were people going door-to-door possibly checking things out...seriously, this just does not happen in West Michigan. Back home, I probably would have given her the Gatorade and then invited her in for dinner and movie.

In the end, staying away from the T.V. really didn't benefit me as much as I had hoped, and keeping away from the computer was more noble in theory than in action...I suppose if you're counting down the hours until you can check for your latest wall post, it's probably a bigger problem than what one afternoon without the internet can solve. All in all, it was a challenge that worked out well...but next time I'm going to fast from something easier...like breathing.

Florida Chick Pumps Iron

Aside from last week's no-sew skirt, the last time I ironed...well, was probably back when we lived in Michigan. I think that me being a non-ironing housewife was possibly one of the biggest adjustments that Chris had to make when we first got married. My mother-in-law (whom I love dearly) was possibly the world's best ironer. When Chris lived at home he always had freshly pressed clothes...including jeans, t-shirts and boxers. I'm sure you can imagine his surprise the first time he asked me to iron something and I looked at him blankly...iron? The only thing I had ever ironed before was my hair...seriously, my mom would lay me down on the floor with my hair spread out over the ironing board and she would press it flat with the iron...other than that, I think it mostly sat in a cupboard somewhere.

I actually do own an iron and an ironing board, they came with our house - I found them in the garage when we moved in last year. I think I might've actually gotten an iron for my wedding too, but when we left Michigan I gave it to Goodwill, I figured there was no sense in moving it down here when someone could actually get some use out of it up north. Pretty much the iron and board sit contentedly on a shelf in the garage and raise my self esteem by allowing me to answer (if I'm ever asked) "Of course I have an iron." Mainly though, I try to hide them away so that they won't fall and hurt anyone...I figure if I don't have to get them down, they can't accidentally fall on someone's head...or cause an unecessary burn - a win-win situation.

Anyway, today out of the blue, Kaitlyn asked if I would iron her shirt. Honestly? I was surprised she even knew we owned an iron. Of course this was after a long conversation about not going to school looking like a street-urchin (seriously, these kids get a casual day and they really go with it...I'm just glad she didn't ask to wear pajamas.) and despite the fact that she has a bajillion Hannah t-shirts, she apparently really only wanted to wear the one she had on. Anyway, I agreed to take the challenge...and really, it only took about 30 seconds from start to finish. Smooth and slide, smooth and slide - it was great. Clean, pressed shirt - good impression - very little effort, that's my kind of chore. I mean, I'm not going to go crazy and make a habit out of it or anything...I'm just as happy paying OXXO $5.00 to clean and press the important stuff, but every once in awhile I suppose I could break out the iron and treat my family to a wardrobe full of nice wrinkle free clothing...or maybe I'll just invest in a bottle of Downy wrinkle release...

Florida Chick Wears Flip Flops

I'm a rule follower, I always have been. When I was in elementary school I wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies...so I didn't...even when I was at slumber parties. I was the girl at the party who would grab a book and read it in the other room while my friends watched Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman - just in case my parents found out. Actually there was this one time when I was riding the Metro in Paris and convinced my mom to sneak up to the First Class car. She tried to convince me that it was a bad idea and that we might get kicked off...I convinced her that being kicked off of the train was impossible because there really weren't "train police" that came through to check if you had a first-class ticket or a regular one...guess which one of us was wrong. So anyway, after 15 minutes of pretending that neither one of us spoke French or understood the Metro system rules...basically 15 minutes of pretending that we were completely idiotic Americans, the "train police" let us off with a warning and walked us backed to the regular-class car. That was the last time I intentionally broke the rules.

You can imagine the difficulty for me then, when I decided to wear flip flops to school today- My faculty handbook says "no flip flops" but my outfit screamed flip-flops...a definite dilemma. I'm generally a heel girl, even with jeans, but today I just couldn't get it to flow (possibly it's a pants issue and not a shoe issue). Down here in Florida, flip flops come in all different categories - the beach kind, the sparkly kind, the athletic kind, and the sexy kind to name a few - it's actually pretty hard to find a pair of shoes that doesn't fall into one of these categories. This is Florida, everyone wears flip flops - and it's not like mine fell into the beach category...it's just that they didn't exactly fall into the "following the rules category," either, so I have to admit I was rather stressed - first because I was breaking the rules, and second because I really have a hard time wearing anything that doesn't make me at least 3 inches taller than what I really am.

I have to admit that breaking the rules is incredibly stressful, I kept hiding my shoes underneath my desk and hoping no one would notice...until the end of the day when I realized that the only one who cared about my shoes at all today was me. Honestly, between the stress of worrying about breaking the rules and the effort to shove my feet under my desk for 8 hours straight - I completely forgot to enjoy the fact that it's the first week of January and I'm not wearing snow boots. So next time, (maybe even tomorrow) I'm slipping them on, wearing them proudly, and just maybe getting a new pedicure to go with it.

Florida Chick Tries Chai

If I'm going to pay $4.50 for a cup of coffee, I like to know that I'm going to really, really enjoy it. I go to Starbucks every Wednesday morning and order one of three things; in January, after gaining those essential 5 holiday pounds, I order a skinny vanilla latte, extra hot, extra foam with two splendas. From February to September (when I've forgotten about those pesky 5 pounds) I go back to my normal order - a white chocolate mocha, skim milk, with whip, extra hot (I figure that the skim milk cancels out the effect of the whip cream). And from October to December, when I'm missing the cool Michigan fall, I order a pumpkin spice latte, with whip, extra hot.

But today, I thought I'd try something different, I thought I'd spread my Starbucks wings and change it up...so I ordered a Vanilla Chai Rooibos Latte - big mistake. With an exotic name like Rooibos I was sure it had to be good - but I was wrong. There is a reason I stick to my usual drinks - I love them. I love the smell of strong coffee at the drive through window, and I love the first sip of hot coffee and cool whipped cream melting together - I really only hit Starbucks on Wednesdays on the way to my staff meeting - so I look forward to it all week, it's a bummer when you've waited all week and then are completely let down by your coffee drink.

I shared my dilemma with my students today, showing them the almost full cup of rooibos chai sitting on my desk. One of my students nodded knowingly, "I've tried that before too," she said, "It tastes like tap water and milk heated up together." Yes, I thought. Yes it does. So anyway, next Wednesday when I head back to Starbucks, I'm not going to do any fancy ordering, I'm sticking to what I love. I'll order my skinny vanilla latte, extra hot, extra foam, with two splendas...and start counting down the days till February when I can order my creamy, fattening favorite drink again.

Florida Chick: The Biggest Loser

In honor of the new season of The Biggest Loser which starts tonigh, I'm taking Bob and Jillian up on some very practical weight loss advice - I decided to keep a food journal. Apparently a food journal is supposed to list everything that you put in your mouth, how you are feeling at the time, and how many calories it's worth, so here it goes:

6:35 - coffe with 1/4cup of Vanilla Chai Spice cream...actually I think it might have been more than 1/4 cup but I can't figure out the calories on the label for more than a 1/4 cup.

7:03 - three bites of Carson's left over 'just add water' pancakes with lite syrup. 225 calories...plus bonus points for using "lite" syrup.

8:57 - Spearmint Breathsaver - 10 calories...feeling hungry and cranky...possibly starting to crash from the Vanilla Spice/"lite" syrup sugar high.

9:34 - Spearmint Breathsaver - 10 calories...stomach growling - considering swapping an "A" test grade for 6th grader's Gatorade

10:06 - Stomach still growling - decide to tough it out and save Breathsavers for emergency needs

11:38 - 4 fried chicken wings "donated" to me from a student's lunch in the cafeteria - bonus points for leaving the last chicken wing for another colleague.

12:02 - 1/2 an orange brought to me by my daughter Kaitlyn who traded it at lunch for her fruit snacks. ..slight worry about who has actually touched the orange - but go ahead and give negative calorie points for eating fruit in the middle of the day.

12:35 - Breathsaver - 10 calories...no guilt for breaking into emergency stash - post chicken-wing breath is an emergency.

12:40 - One piece of Dove Chocolate - zero calories (the effort from savoring it for 12 minutes eliminates any negative calories from the chocolate)

1:15 - Breathsaver

2:35 - Breathsaver

3:05 - Hunger pains getting stronger - tried to convince Kaitlyn to giver me her after-school Pop-tart with no luck...Breathsaver

5:52 - Caprisun juice box and one Poptart...tried to hide it from Carson by eating in the bathroom - no luck, Carson found me and ate the second Poptart from the package.

6:30 - Chris home...burgers on the grill, Corona with lime, and 1/2 bag of lime Tostitos...maybe more than 1/2 bag - calories: too many to count...but just enough to make me happy and content while I watch The Biggest Loser!

Florida Chick Pays the Bills

About three years ago I had a 6 month stint as our family bill payer. It probably wasn't the best 6 months of our marriage. One month I accidentally paid the house payment twice, and another time I added money to the register when I should have debited it, I'll just say that it was a significant enough amount to cause our checkbook more than a little concern. I think Chris spent more time on the phone with the bank during those 6 months than the rest of his adult life combined, fortunately he's a pretty good salesman and he was able to convince the bank that we weren't irresponsible consumers - just that his wife was just a financial idiot who deserved a second chance like everybody else.

With that background in mind, you can understand Chris's reluctance when I asked him if I could try to pay a bill online. He agreed but stood behind me watching the whole time, making weird little sounds everytime my fingers even got near a button I shouldn't push. I think he was nervous that I was going to accidentally send our life savings to the City of Hollywood who would of course keep it and assume that we just wanted to pay our water bill in advance...for the rest of our lives.

All in all, everything went smoothly. Hollywood got their money - no more, no less - and I successfully managed to prove to my husband that I am completely financially capable...mostly - I'm just hoping everything will go through smoothly before Chris realizes that I completely forgot to write down the reference number...and the amount paid.

Florida Chick Learns to Dance

I figure if you're going to learn to dance, you might as well learn from the best...so tonight I went to watch my cousin Floyd in a private showing of his dance portfolio. Floyd used to be a professional dancer in New York City with the Martha Graham Company. If you're not familiar with Martha Graham, it's an ultra-modern dance troupe that toured all over the country. I'll never forget the only other time I've watched Floyd dance, he was touring in Michigan with Martha Graham and we went to the show. I was about 10 at the time and Monica was 8, she'll tell you the same story...we were completely scarred by the dance piece that resembled a lady stuck in a giant purple sleeping bag - I don't think either of us have pulled a sleeping bag over our head since then...just in case. Floyd has since explained that the piece represented pushing against the barriers of injustice...but I still have my doubts.

Anyway, I went to watch Floyd's show today and it was great...there were no purple sleeping bags, just Floyd, his friends and family, great music, and amazing choreography. I guess I didn't really learn to dance (I was hoping for a mini-lesson to write about) but I did learn two things, number 1 - do what you're passionate about - it was mesmerizing to watch him perform at something he was so into. And two, we should all be dancing...you should see his kicking bod - if I can have abs like that when I'm his age, I'll sign up for lessons today - dang!

Florida Chick Gets Her Mac On...Sort Of

So, I’m a little late getting this written…but with good explanation.

See, last week, my cousin called to say he had a computer he’d like to give to us…a little older, but still in good condition, something the kids could use for their little games and such; to top it all off, it was a Mac. I was really excited to try a Mac - what with the cool ads and all (“hi, I’m a Mac,” “and I’m a PC”- you know the ones.) and I figured it was a great new thing to try for today’s challenge, my first encounter with a Mac, woohoo!


Funny thing, Chris and I opened the box that it was in…and it wasn’t a Mac – it was a PC – windows XP and all. So anyway, after a fight with a non-working phone jack (see photo below), 30 minutes on hold with AT&T (why I’m late with this column), disassembling the components and reassembling them behind our bed (to our only working phone line), going on a scavanger hunt for the dsl software (which was found in a cupboard in the bathroom), well two and a half hours later... we actually still don't have the new computer hooked up. But it's a free computer, and hey, even if it doesn't quite work yet - I'm practically Dutch so you know I love free!


Unfortunately I was counting on my experience with my new Mac as my new adventure for the day…but the good news is, computer experience aside, I actually did do something new – I bought new cat food – new organic cat food…Tommy the Cat will be excited - but Chris probably won't – if he only knew how much money it costs for organic cat food… oh well.

Florida Chick No-sews a Skirt

The last time I made a skirt I was in 5th grade. I went to the fabric store with my grandma, picked out a purple and pink plaid flannel material and a pattern for a poofy skirt with detachable suspenders - it was, for me, the perfect dress. It took me two full Saturdays in my grandma's sewing room to complete, and when I did, I wore it everywhere.

After that project, my sewing interest went downhill quickly. I suppose as I got older I preferred to spend my Saturdays hanging with friends...at the mall...where I could buy my clothes. I must say that I come by my lack of sewing interest (and ability) hereditarily. Once, in ninth grade I asked my mom to sew my name patch on the back of my cheerleading sweater - and she did, she also sewed the front and back of the sweater together so that when I tried to put it on, my head got stuck half-way through. My dad fixed it for me.

All that being said, I decided to challenge myself to make a skirt today. I know its not exactly the old-fashioned way with patterns and thimbles...or needles and thread. But I've been dying to try this fusable webbing stuff - and what better way than recycling an old pair of jeans into a sassy new skirt. I found the directions at familyfun.com ,(just type the words "denim skirt" into the search box) sharpened my scissors, heated up my iron, and in just 2 hours made a skirt...yes, 2 whole hours. Thats the stink of it - between tediously ripping out the seams of the jeans and pressing and holding the webbing it took 2 whole hours to make the skirt. (I was hoping that without the needles and thread and thimbles I could knock this baby out in 20 minutes)

All in all, and the two hours aside, I was pretty proud of myself, a new skirt for just the cost of the webbing ($2.99) and extra credit for recycling used clothing. I was going to wear my new creation this afternoon to show everyone, but as soon as I ironed out the wrinkles and tried it on, Kaitlyn's bunny decided to jump on my lap and pee all over me...hopefully she's not letting me know what she thinks of my new project...

Florida Chick Channels Bobby Flay

So I wanted to start the new year off right, to jump in right away and work on this 365 in 365 challenge, so tonight...I'm grilling. I know for some of you this doesn't seem like a big deal, but in our family there is only one grill-er in the house and it's not me, it seemed like a good place to start. I got out the burgers and the brats, tied on an apron and headed out. Chris pointed me in the right direction - open the gas, press the ignition, turn on the burners. It would have been so easy had there been propane in the tank, instead, about a quarter way through the grilling process the flame died out leaving half cooked meat on the grill.

No problem, Chris the ever resourceful husband went out to get more propane. Attaching the tank to the grill, however, posed a slight challenge. See, down here in South Florida, because grill stealing seems to be a national past-time, we have placed our grill in the farthest, darkest corner of the patio where it can be concealed by wayward palm branches, and because Carson is 5 and has disassembeled every flashlight in the house, we were forced to try to reattach the propane tank to the grill by the light of a cellphone. Fortunately, it was a pretty good cellphone and everything was eventually reattached in the right place.

After the propane issue, grilling kind of went downhill, I mean, I basically added cheese to the burgers and threw the buns on the warming rack, but all in all, Chris still did most of the grilling...which was fine with me, because between running inside for a plate, forks, buns, cheese, etc. I would just as soon stay in the kitchen where everything is at my fingertips - all that back and forth and I might have even lost a pound or two...but I did look cute in the apron - and sometimes that's really all that counts.